This is my friend, Olga, who was born in Ukraine when it was still part of the USSR, and she emigrated to Australia with her family when she was 7 years old.
This is the final story in an 8-part series for International Women's Day I'm writing, featuring powerful stories of women who have helped "Break The Bias".
She said “Growing up in Ukraine was really beautiful because I lived with my bigger family which included my parents, grandparents and my other grandma. My dad was a fighter pilot in the Soviet (USSR) Army. My mom worked as a high school History Teacher.”
“When the USSR collapsed, my dad lost his job as an army pilot and the majority of his colleagues lost their jobs – they were severely demoted.”
Olga said she remembered her grandma coming home one day crying, and she told her “All my savings have been depleted and all I can buy now is a pack of cigarettes.” She was devastated (due to the economic collapse).
“Meanwhile my uncle (mother’s brother) lived in Australia with his family and my cousins, so he was happy to sponsor my family’s immigration to Australia.”
I asked if her parents had visited Australia before the decision to move, and she told me that her grandpa had visited Australia years prior and absolutely loved it, loved the beaches, the lifestyle. Once the USSR collapsed, he and her dad made the decision for the whole family to relocate. She says her grandpa and her parents knew they needed to move and build a better life for themselves and their children.
I asked Olga - how did you feel as a 7 year-old about moving to Australia? She told me, “At the time I didn’t grasp the enormity of the move, I was just happy that I was going with my family on an adventure and that we weren’t going to be separated. But I didn’t know that my life was going to change. I was excited to see my cousins.”
Olga explained that she tried to help people pronounce her name the proper way in the Ukrainian language – “Olya” but most people struggled to pronounce it, so they reverted to calling her “Ollie”. She didn’t feel comfortable saying that’s not the correct name and it made her sad.
Olga said, “I was bullied for the majority of my school years – they teased me for my last name Tchernobryvko so they would say “Olga chicken on a bread roll, what is she good for? Absolutely Nothing!”
“It was really hurtful and I found it really hard to make friends. I was eating weird food like brown bread and salami or Russian pastries with filling inside, so they saw me as different. I stood out and not in a good way. I just remember feeling really alone and feeling like I don’t belong.”
“And also the culture in Australia was very different. Outside in Ukraine, the kids would play, I didn’t need permission to go to any friends’ houses. We got fed by their grandma and parents didn’t need to supervise their kids. But I remember the first time I took a skipping rope outside the front of our house and the neighbours complained about me for the noise. I had to go to the playground to skip. I missed having that community and not being so cliquey with girls. I felt it was very cliquey in Australia, especially in high school. It was much easier back in Ukraine because you could be friends with both the boys and girls. Also, I went to an all-girls private school for primary school so it was hard.”
I asked her how did her parents go with finding work after they relocated to Australia? She told me “My mom was smart because she went to Moscow (TAFE) and got her beauty license there so that she could find work as a beauty therapist when they moved to Australia. My dad had it more rough finding work.
Olga shared, “I finally found my ‘group’ of friends in high school. When I was 16, I started going on Saturdays to a Russian school and I loved it. The boys in the Russian school class were really nice to me and I made good girl friends there, whom I still keep in touch with. This was the highlight of high school for me during years 10 and 11. It was too stressful to keep attending Russian School in Year 12 (due to Y12 HSC exams).”
Over the years, Olga maintained friendships with a handful of Ukrainian or Russian folks here in Australia, and she keeps in touch with her family and girlfriends from back home in Ukraine.
She said, “I’ve only visited back home once when I was 15, and it was a culture shock for me. I loved the people and the food, visiting family, and I reconnected with a childhood friend which I loved. The people were really welcoming and warm, which was beautiful, but I was surprised to learn that in Ukraine there’s a lot more pressure for girls to get married and have a family that might not include career aspirations. It’s a much more patriarchal society.”
“My aunty from my dad’s side still lives in Ukraine and she says she’s been to the community bunker which is in a hidden basement, but she’s not staying there all the time. My other aunty and uncle and cousins live in different cities in Ukraine – everyone is fine but they’re just doing the best they can at the moment. People are not working. People are staying at home because they’re too scared to go outside. They’re living in fear.”
Olga told me that although both parents were born in Ukraine, Olga’s mom was Jewish and her dad was Russian Orthodox so they faced a lot of judgement when they got married. Her mom was 20 and her dad was 23. Olga says, “My grandma and my great-grandma would tell me the anti-Semitic comments they would hear from people in the community.”
What do you like about Australia now that you’ve lived here for over 20+ years?
Olga said, “I like the pace in Australia and I feel like there are a lot more opportunities for women here. I’ve learned to be less judgemental of other people because I know the difficulties people face in having to learn a new language and make new friends and I watched my parents struggle. I felt for my parents having to start from scratch, putting food on the table, supplying my books and uniforms for school, and paying for me to attend a private school. I’m very grateful to them for working so hard.”
“I feel sometimes people give migrants a bad name – they’re on Centrelink, they’re receiving benefits but in my experience, they want to make something for themselves and they want to give their children the best chance in life. And they appreciate the opportunity they’ve been given to live in Australia.”
Thank you Olga for your courage in sharing your story, and for helping others to #Break The Bias and ‘Don’t judge a book by its cover’.
